Kindful Living: Heart-Centered Child & Family Therapy

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Helping Children Thrive while Learning at Home

The start of a new school year is right around the corner for students across the globe. As many families prepare to homeschool their children for the first time or to collaborate with educators to e-school or “crisis school” (a term which reflects learning that takes place outside of traditional classrooms due to the COVID-19 pandemic), there is an eagerness to learn about how to help our children thrive while learning at home, especially with regards to their social and emotional skills (which are a significant part of academic and overall life success), as well as how to help students who will return to school make a successful transition. 

Since I have been working with many parents and caregivers over the last few months, to plan for social and emotional learning, as well as smooth transitions back to school, I would like to share some insight and tips on how adults can help children thrive in the current context. Navigating the next few weeks will be easier, for adults and children alike, if adults feel confident in their capacity to not only teach children reading, writing and arithmetic, but to also do what’s best for children’s mental, emotional and social development. 

Social Emotional Learning (SEL) is always a powerful tool, but now, more than ever, in the midst of this global pandemic, children need the adults in their life to make their well-being a priority. SEL has been proven to reduce emotional stress in young people, as well as to help children learn better, feel more calm and confident, and to cooperate with others. This is why SEL cannot and should not be approached as just another subject to teach, but rather, as a critical skill that is a prerequisite for learning. 

To help home-based learners in the absence of peers, as well as children returning to school who will be limited in their ability to socialize, feel a sense of community and belonging, which is critical for social and emotional learning, it can be helpful to begin the day with a Welcoming Ritual. This can include activities such as singing a welcome song, inviting children to share how they are feeling or one thing that they are grateful for, a grounding activity such as deep breathing, a role reversal whereby a student can be the teacher for the first few minutes of class, as well as an opportunity to simply enjoy a moment of calm in one’s personalized learning space (complete with preferred personal items). The purpose of a welcoming ritual is to help children transition into the learning space and to demonstrate to them that they, as individuals, are seen, felt, accepted and welcomed in the learning space.

It is also helpful to designate an area where children can independently retire to, during the course of the day, if they need space and time to themselves (i.e to self-regulate). Include a variety of items that allow children to engage in sensory activities, such as breathing balls, a water bottle and snacks, scented mini pillows, glitter jars and soothing music. 

Throughout the day, alternate engaging activities with those that are less stimulating and allow children to enjoy free play, as well as downtime (children need downtime to connect, cultivate mindfulness, be creative and for healthy brain development). Some favourites include dance parties (dance together to an upbeat song until the music stops, at which time everyone freezes and takes a deep breath, until the music starts again), cooking (so much bonding and informal learning can occur while preparing a meal or baking with your little learners), mindful movement (i.e. Dino crawl), and of course, breaks for eating/drinking and fresh air. At the culmination of these activities, it can be helpful to debrief with children about how they felt before engaging in an activity, as well as during and after. 

Just as how we start the day is important, so is how we culminate it. An activity that helps signal the end of the formal learning day and consolidates learning is writing a short letter or drawing a picture to describe what children learned, what they want to remember and what they want to learn more about. Younger children or those who have a fondness for music may enjoy wrapping up the day with a song. Allow children to create rituals that are fun, meaningful and helpful for them to develop clear boundaries around school time and home time, especially if this is the first time they are beginning the school year learning at home. 

Repeatedly engaging in SEL practices that encourage the cultivation of mindfulness and emotional intelligence helps to re-wire our brains, which can make it easier to be calm, kind, confident, patient and aware, as well as to learn, retain and utilize information that is learned. 

Emotional intelligence is essential for effective teaching and learning, especially in the current climate of stress and uncertainty. Being aware of our emotions and the emotions of others is required to nurture emotional intelligence. Self-regulation and empathy, which are required to be attentive, engaged, compassionate and kind are also critical. To help children develop emotional intelligence life skills, you can use a body scan or a mood meter to enable them to identify and articulate/demonstrate their emotional states, breathing and mindful movement games to help them manage overwhelming feelings and compassion practices to enhance kindness towards oneself and others. 

It is also helpful to consider utilizing a strengths-based approach to learning, because recognizing and building on inherent skills, knowledge and capacity has the power to transform how children learn and to generate more success. Set goals together, identify strengths, nurture hope, connect with resources, offer meaningful choice to children and use language that emphasizes effort and progress, rather than outcomes.  

For families of children who will be transitioning back to school, I want to stress the importance of parents and educators collaborating, for the benefit of students, so as to foster and model healthy interdependence and resilience. It is also important to note that proactive communication can help to circumvent teaching and learning challenges before they become significant hindrances. While teaching at home, continue to stay in touch with educators and share your observations about your child’s experience learning at home, including what works well and what doesn’t, so that when they transition back to the classroom, educators can do their best to plan for a smooth transition. While working in a more intimate setting with your child, you may develop critical insights about your child’s learning style that can help teachers to better support your child in the classroom.

I will conclude by noting that building and sustaining a compassionate and mindful approach to learning is a process, not a one-time fix. It requires an ongoing commitment to social and emotional learning, a focus on identifying and building upon intrinsic skills, receptiveness to educational innovation, effective and timely communication and collaboration. As we guide our children through this crisis and its aftermath, feeling compassion and demonstrating kindness, towards ourselves and others, will provide us with the patience, purpose and determination to use our strengths to their fullest, to stay hopeful, and to strengthen our hearts and minds as we work together towards our shared goals and a future beyond COVID-19.