My Journey into Kindfulness
The first time I heard about mindfulness was in a grad school seminar. My professor spoke passionately about the life-changing and paradigm-shifting potential of this philosophy + practice, for individuals from all walks of life. I didn’t think twice about it, until a few years later when I landed my first job as a Child & Family Therapist, in a Children’s Mental Health Centre.
My supervisor, at the time, asked me about my familiarity with mindfulness. When I shared that I had some knowledge, but had never really practised mindfulness, she recommended a few books and strongly encouraged me to test it out for myself.
The first book I read by Jon Kabat-Zinn would not be my last (Mindfulness for Beginners). I was fascinated by the claims about how mindfulness could transform one’s life. This served as my formal initiation into mindfulness practice.
I began by infrequently completing guided meditations from the internet. I found them to be soothing (sometimes even thought-provoking) but I didn’t really feel I was gaining any other significant benefits, because my practise was irregular.
I continued to read up on Mindfulness, however, and became rather proficient at teaching my clients, both children and adults, about its benefits, as well as how to seamlessly incorporate mindful strategies into their daily habits and routines.
It was quite common for families to revert back to me with gratitude for the life-altering impacts they noticed after beginning a mindfulness practise. The most commonly reported benefits reported were feeling more energetic, well-rested and focused, freeing up time in their schedule (from being able to work more effectively and efficiently), as well as noticing a significant shift in their children’s ability to navigate BIG emotions, handle disappointments and to self-soothe.
Even after I moved on from the Children’s Mental Health sector, I continued to share my knowledge about and passion for mindfulness with families I worked with, in the various settings I worked within. But, it was not until I was newly pregnant with my eldest son that I revisited mindfulness practice and became enchanted with it!
I suffered severe morning (or actually, all-day) sickness, felt exhausted all the time and developed anxiety around my pregnancy (which I had never experienced prior to being pregnant)— which made me a perfect candidate for mindfulness. When I woke up and was struck by nausea, I would sit on my bed, close my eyes, focus on my breathing and imagine that I was on the beach, under the moonlight, listening to the waves crash on the shore. When I noticed feelings of nausea arising, I would try not to think about how long it would last or how it would impact my day; instead, I simply noticed them and then redirected my attention to visualizing the beach. I also learned to eat mindfully, which helped me keep more food down, because my attention (and therefore energy) was on the experience of eating in the moment rather than on worrying about throwing up afterward.
When I found myself experiencing anxiety or feeling tired, I also found it helpful to use visualization exercises or to simply take a moment to close my eyes and focus on my breath. After trying every trick you’ve heard of (and some you might not have even heard of!), to naturally deal with the not-so-glowy symptoms of pregnancy, I was surprised to notice how effective mindfulness was at alleviating a lot of the discomfort I was experiencing. The feedback loop ignited by experiencing positive results, after making just a few small and easy shifts in my life, was what ultimately inspired the greatest changes in my life. I kept making more small changes — adding new habits that served me well, while simultaneously releasing habits that no longer served me— and this eventually propelled me into thinking, feeling and living life in a way that enabled me to feel happier, more peaceful and productive than I had ever felt before.
By the time my first child was born, I had became quite proficient at incorporating mindfulness throughout my daily routines— talk about perfect timing, because I had no idea what a whirlwind life would be like as a new parent!
All the self care activities I engaged in prior to motherhood — getting massages, going to the gym, eating dinner with loved ones, road trips, travelling the globe— were no longer as accessible to me, because I was healing from an emergency C-section while taking care of a newborn who relied on me for feedings every 1-3 hours. While rocking Zayn to sleep or helping him to relieve gas, I often found myself practising mindfulness, so as to nurture myself and find calm in moments of chaos, which further helped me attune to him more successfully and ultimately help him overcome whatever challenges he was experiencing.
In a nutshell, this is how I came to become an enthusiast and champion of mindfulness—through my own journey towards finding peace, joy and fulfillment, in one of the busiest times of my life!
A few very short months after Zayn was born, I would become pregnant with my second child, and although I wouldn’t have survived the new level of pandemonium without my mindfulness practice, it wasn’t always enough. It was during this time that I would learn about the importance of self-love, compassion for others and grace in helping me to not only survive, but to thrive. It was during my pregnancy with Ayaan that I would add the K to Kindfulness.
(To be continued….)