Thriving During the Holiday Season with Kindfulness
The winter holidays are, hands-down, my favourite time of the year. After recently reflecting on why, I came to the conclusion that there are a few reasons. The main reason is because for all my life, until I became a mother in 2018, it was during this time that my parents, younger sister and I would venture to every corner and crevice of the Earth and spend weeks of uninterrupted quality time together exploring and enjoying ourselves. I had the privilege of spending New Year’s Eve in a new country almost every year of my life until I was in my 30s, and since having children, we have continued this tradition with my boys. I also love the sights, sounds, feels, tastes and scents of winter, mainly anything mint-ish, gingerbready, icy, cozy, cinnamon and/or lit-up!
While talking to my partner the other day, so that we could plan a fun and exciting winter holidays for our boys, we couldn’t help but find ourselves sharing our feelings of grief and loss, as a result of how different the holidays will be this year~ not only because we are restricted from travelling, but also since we will not be enjoying this year’s celebrations with anyone but those in our immediate household.
Since this season is already stressful for so many of us, for so many different reasons (long to-do lists, busy days and nights, less sleep), coupled with the recognition that most of us are simultaneously grieving new losses this year, including that of our holiday rituals, I thought it might be helpful to share some of the insights I developed (while meditating and journalling about my own grief), as well as how I plan to enlist mindfulness to make the best of this season, despite the limitations imposed by the current state of affairs.
Below are a few ways that I plan on or have already started implementing mindfulness into my own life. I hope these ideas inspire you to cultivate your own mindful holiday season practice.
Letting Go of Old Old traditions and Expectations
Once I gave myself an opportunity to grieve the loss of the holiday season as I have known it for 37 years, I found myself ready to release the pain attached to the expectations I have held for so much of my life. The holidays are consumed by expectations regarding how things should go, what to do, where to be, what to cook, what to buy, what to wear...etc... These expectations contribute to unwanted stress and disappointment. To release the stress surrounding holiday expectations, the best thing is to simply let them go! Let go of what you feel like you “should” be doing and just do whatever feels right for you (and your family if that makes sense for you).
Grieving also allowed me to invite new possibilities, including new traditions that bring us joy. I came to realize that we have never taken an opportunity to explore our own ‘neighbourhood’, so we literally spent days just driving around to look at local decorative masterpieces. We also began completing daily holiday-themed craft activities, which have brought hours of joy, laughter and excitement into our lives. That said, we made it a point to stick to traditions that we have always enjoyed and which are still possible, such as baking and singing and dancing to holiday songs.
Traditions should be enjoyable, so there is no reason to hold on to those that no longer serve you. It’s also okay to make new ones too – sometimes new traditions might even take the place of the older ones! Partake in and enjoy whatever traditions bring you joy and include others in that joy too!
Live Mindfully
When time is limited and I can’t manage to squeeze in formal mindfulness practises (i.e. sitting meditation), I look for opportunities throughout the day to practise informally (this is also what I teach my clients and suggest that they begin with when they initially begin to practise Mindfulness). This includes mindful eating (since we already eat everyday, several times at that!), mindful sensing, mindful movement and deep breathing weaved into routine activities such as hand-washing (since we all seem to be doing more than enough of that these days too!)
Mindfulness extends to different bodily functions and its benefits also extend beyond the mind. Any opportunity to get out of the rut of overthinking, analyzing and lingering in our minds, and to get embodied allows us to cultivate mindfulness.
Eat Mindfully
To avoid falling into the trap of unhealthy eating during the holidays, eat mindfully and commit to engaging in a true sensory experience at mealtime. Savour every moment of your meal and practice the 4 S’s when you eat: Sit down, Slowly chew, Savor and Smile. You’ll be amazed at how much you notice every flavour, seasoning and texture in the foods you consume~ which may translate into you enjoying your food that much more (as well as avoiding the trap of overindulging). These practises can also enable us to really tune in to the conversations we engage in with loved ones during holiday meals.
Become a Conscious Consumer
Mindfulness is not confined to our individual existence, but also extends to the world we co-exist in with others. Being a conscious consumer means becoming more mindful of the companies we support (not only during the holiday season, but including it, since this is the time of year when many of us tend to spend the most). We can shop more mindfully by:
Shopping sustainably – buy what you need, support companies with values that resonate with your own and opt for products and packaging that are sustainable or recyclable, when possible
Reuse gift bags/boxes, wrapping paper and other decorative items, when possible
Shop second hand or even consider regifting items that do not serve you
Support local small businesses!
Count your blessings!
Consciously practice gratitude by writing down or at least making note of all the things you are grateful for. This is a great mindfulness technique for pausing the mind and reflecting. Our family takes a few moments every evening, before tucking our boys into bed for the night, to discuss the best parts of our day as well as what we are most grateful for. We note our responses on pieces of sticky paper that we affix onto a display every month~ our boys chose a wreath and a holiday tree for the final month of this year.
Practice Self-Love
Practicing self-love is one of the best ways to be more self-aware as well as compassionate toward ourselves and others. By honouring ourselves and allowing ourselves to feel loved, we open up our ability to spread holiday cheer to those we care about. Self-love in practice can look like eating nutritious foods, getting adequate rest and exercising regularly. Consciously setting time aside to practice self-love enables us to extend these sentiments to others. When we nurture ourselves and prioritize our own needs, it becomes possible to be calmer, kinder and more attentive with those around us.
Be Open to Your Own, as well as Others’ Emotions
The holidays invite a vast range of emotions into our day-to-day lives, including joy, excitement, sadness and grief. You are not the only one suffering from these feelings. Firstly, allow yourself to notice, fully feel and accept these emotions. Although this it is important to acknowledge that they exist, try not to dwell on them~ just mindfully allow them to come and go without judgment. This makes it easier to direct compassion toward our loved ones. By checking in with loved ones, being attentive and receptive to their feelings, we create space to connect with them at a deeper level.
Unplug!
Allow yourself to be as fully present as possible. While celebrating with loved ones, turn off your phone (or at least put it on silent!) and tune in to people and the conversations you are engaging in instead. It’s also important to create opportunities to fully unwind when we are by ourselves. Although we may think we are inseparable from our devices, and often act like they are an extension of our being, e-mails, text message and social media can wait. Instead, recharge your own batteries.
Be Mindful of Your Time & Energy
It is so common for the holiday season to become a blur due to so many things going on. Days seem to often just fly by! Be mindful of your time and acknowledge when you need space to pause, reset and recharge.
Schedule In Self-Care
Schedule time to pause, reflect, reset and recharge. Self-care is important all year-round, and even more so during the holidays because stress and emotions tend to run at an all time high (even prior to life without lockdowns and social distancing). So, make a sincere effort to engage in activities that allow you to prioritize all aspects of your health and well-being.
A few practices that can assist with self-care and healthy stress management include going for a walk, breath work, taking a nap or a bath, reading, yoga, journalling, exercise, meditation, essential oils and seeking professional support. For me, nothing compares to cozying up with a hot bevy and a great book, taking just a few moments to focus on my breath while diffusing essential oils (hello Eucalyptus!) or lighting an aromatic candle. Simply focusing on breath, each body part and our senses goes a long way in helping to relax the mind and the body.
Move Your Body
For many of us, weeks before the holidays begin, it becomes harder to commit to a regular workout routine. There’s so much going on that setting aside time to workout sometimes feels impossible. Yet, movement is a critical part of healthy and mindful living, as a healthy body contributes to a healthy mind and life. To avoid allowing the busyness of the holiday season to interfere with your health and well-being, schedule workouts into your daily plans to help keep you accountable or find an accountability buddy!
Ensuring I take some time to move throughout the day always and instantly makes my body and mind feel amazing! Even if it’s simply stretching for 10 minutes, going for a brisk walk, practicing deep breathing or a short yoga flow. Moving our bodies is one of the easiest ways to curb stress because of the boost we get in feel-good hormones.
Avoid Overcommiting
This goes back to the expectations surrounding the holiday season. Be mindful of where you are committing yourself because no one benefits when we spread ourselves too thin. It’s okay to say no to things, especially if saying yes does not serve us or those we seek to please.
Spend Time Reflecting
I can’t stress the importance of this one enough! Even if some of the other suggestions I have made are not feasible, make sure to carve out time and space to pause and reflect. Whether you enjoy journaling, just sitting with your thoughts or engaging in more artistic endeavours, make sure to take time to reflect. It might feel insignificant at the time, but we learn so much about ourselves when we commit to listening to our bodies. Plus, there is always something helpful that we can take away from time spent reflecting and getting to know ourselves better. Self-awareness is the greatest gift we can give ourselves and those around us.
The holidays are exciting but they also can wreak havoc on our ability to be be intentional and present. I owe a large part of my sanity during the busy-ness of this time of year on the time I set aside to reflect on the true meaning of the holidays, so that I can focus on what really matters to me and my loved ones. Perspective allows us to remember the true meaning of the holidays. Love, joy, quality time spent together ~ true presence~ are the gifts that we really need to focus on giving. Tune in, be present, be intentional about where you exert your energy and make the necessary shifts to tend to your needs and nurture yourselves so that you’re able to really enjoy each day as it comes!
How do you plan to be more MINDFUL this holiday season? I would love to hear your strategies, so please share them in the comments!