New Year, Same ol’ me on My Kindfulness Journey
I recently had the chance to catch up with an old friend and while chatting she asked me about my New Year’s resolutions for 2021. I shared with her that I had stopped setting new year resolutions for years now and she noted her shock at hearing this because she always thought of me as such a goal-oriented person.
I was a little thrown aback by her comment because I was unable to appreciate why she thought that not setting new year’s resolutions was incongruent with being goal-oriented. I took a moment to explain my position and noted that I have been working tirelessly over the last few years to create and discover my true and highest self, as well as the values that matter most to me. Having sacrificed and dedicated countless long days and sleepless nights, not to mention lots of sweat, blood, tears and heartache into this process, in an attempt to better align my decisions and actions with my values, I finally learned to love myself for who I am. Why would I re-invent or change myself simply because the year had changed?
More often than not, “New Year, New Me” just seems like a cliche, and while I totally respect those who use the start of a new year as a benchmark for their goal progression, I personally do not feel the need to change everything about myself so as to constitute a new me. I am by no means trying to state that I am perfect, because we can all surely improve upon ourselves, but that isn’t the same as changing ourselves.
I am at a place in my life where, although I never want to stop growing as a person until my final breath, I am pretty confident that my core values will solidly constitute the foundation for my growth throughout the duration of what is left of my life.
Not to mention, everyday, every breath in fact, is an opportunity for a new start, a new way of seeing, being, believing, so waiting for a new year seems unnecessary and a delay, at best.
Instead of new year’s resolutions, I am more concerned with setting intentions for how I want to be rather than what I wish to achieve, given that there are so many variables that account for whether we accomplish a goal not. On the other hand, I have learned, through my journey, that we have a lot more discretion over whether we show up in life, the manner in which we show up, the way we respond to situations and the effort we put in.
That said, these are my intentions moving forward into 2021:
1) Self care ~ I realized sometime last year that even if and when I achieve everything I set out to, it really doesn’t mean much when I feel stressed and like I’m on the verge of burn-out! Self-care is the foundation of my game plan because it allows me to be the best mama, entrepreneur, therapist, sister, daughter and friend that I can be. Living a joyful and fulfilling life begins with me! My intentions in this realm including showing up truthfully and authentically (or not at all!), being in tune with my mind, body and spirit, so that I can avoid unhealthy and toxic situations, to detox from the digital world regularly, to do more of what makes me happy, to practise mindfulness as much as I possibly can and to always put myself first (well, most of the time anyways because my babies are still young).
2) A significant part of my self care (so significant it deserves its own category) is to continue improving the way that I manage the time I spend with my family as well as my career and business. I don’t believe in balance because there is no such thing in practise, but it is possible to be flexible and fluid, and to manage time and resources depending on what is pressing in the moment.
3) Love/Alignment - If doing something, making a decision or being around somebody doesn’t feel right in my heart or align with my values, then those things, circumstances and people are not for me.
Life is short, so during the time I am blessed with, I want to stay true to myself and who I am, no matter what, and I don’t want to take a single moment for granted! I want to spend every minute making a difference, in my life and in the lives of others. I want to use my loving heart in ways that allow me to recognize and live up to my greatest potential.
I want to love with my whole heart and surround myself with those I love every chance I get. While I don’t live my life with regrets, I am very aware that I have spent too much time on people and things that were not deserving of my time, and since time is a zero sum equation, this means that I failed to carve out time and space for people and things that matter. So I strive to surround myself with people who push me to do better, who add value to my life and who remain steadfast in their commitment and loyalty to me, even through the hard times. I also don’t want to have hate in my heart for anyone or anything. Even those who have done me wrong deserve peace of mind. I want to sincerely be able to forgive (even if I can’t forget), because no one is perfect and we all make mistakes.
I also want to spend more time doing things I enjoy and that will help me create memories for posterity, such as exploring new destinations with my family (even if they are local for the time being), building life-size Marvel characters and reading books that ignite new ideas, make me feel excited to be alive and let me get lost in the stories they share.
In short, I want to be the best possible version of myself that I can be.
Next year, around this same time when I am reflecting on 2021 and planning for the year ahead, I hope I can say that I learned even more about myself, that I spent my time doing the things that matter most to me, that I made a difference in the planet I call home and that love led the way for me to do all these things.
I’m curious to hear if you set New Year resolutions and if so, what resolutions you have set for 2021? If you don’t, please share why not. I would love to learn more about you and from you.
Oh yeah, I can’t let this New Year’s post end without wishing you all a year filled with lots of joy, wonder-filled memories, love, good health and prosperity in every way imaginable. Happy New Year!!